From what I can remember I have always practised self love. I don’t remember having bad thoughts about myself or the way I looked as a child either; recently I have heard a few close female friends complain of their weight, or their hair or even them not being “good enough” and I asked for who? This brought me to think about where this feeling of inadequacy starts and where self love begins?
Is it from the time we are conceived and safely tucked away in our mother’s womb? Is it from what we experience as a child? Or is it what we have been led to believe about ourselves from others experiences and opinions about life and us? Really I think it is a combination of many factors, both nature and nurture.
I have always enjoyed pampering myself from a young adult,(I think i saw my mother doing it, she would do homemade facials, or polish her toe & finger nails), by having massages, facials anything to give me the “feel good” factor, recently I had a conversation with my sister and learned that she never had any type of pampering treatments done in her 50 something years of life; this shocked and saddened me at the same time, it showed me how much I took the love I have for myself for granted by believing all other women felt the same way, or even had this belief about themselves! It kinda made me open my eyes and mind to realise, that we, as women need to encourage each other to love ourselves from a young age..
But how? How do we accomplish this task?
Here are my top tips:
- Encourage “me time” habits from a very young age, I grew up watching my mother paint her toe nails, do make up and also home facials; so for example, maybe set aside one weekend every month or few months to dedicate to grooming yourself, get the hair removal done, the eyebrows done(this is such a mood lifter), feet and hands done whether you do it yourself or out source it trust me it is so worth it, I am a true believer in “when you look good darling you feel good too”
- Read, read, read, I cannot stress this enough, find books about self help, sexy books whatever your interest read up on it as often as possible, nowadays you can have books on all your mobile devices so get to reading it helps you escape into your thoughts and gives you such a different perspective on life in general, I found this an extremely helpful tool.
- Expose yourself to happy, sensual music from an appropriate age, I grew up on music, its what saved me from myself many times as it allowed me to really feel, express and act out those feelings, it helped me escape reality at times too.
- Eating well, exercising and rest rest rest!! From my early 20’s I was training in a gym and admiring my body and myself at every angle, this was fun, but more importantly it showed me how much control I really had over the way I feel and looked.
- I grew up Catholic and my mom was of Anglican faith, this provided a sturdy spiritual foundation from young, it gave me something other than myself or humans to believe in, I truly believe deep down that this has shaped me more than any other experience in my life. I am not very religious but I am spiritual, I have seen how what we think and do affects our daily situations on a minute by minute basis, you are what you believe.
Sharing my top five tips above has made me reminisce about so many happy fantastic aspects of my own life, so I really hope that reading this brings you some kind of joy and hope if you feel stuck. All through life we are taught to show love to others and share with others, now as an adult we know that this love starts with us, so feel free to love thyself more than anyone or any relationship or any job we could possibly have…