Trigger me trigger you trigger we

Hello you beautiful humans, I hope we are all doing fantastically well.

I have not posted in over a month, due to illness and just low motivation, but I was still working in the background quietly, and as usual jotting down ideas and notes, until a topic arose and I went with it. I am in the process of setting up a work-space within my space, to help me be more inclined to create content more consistently, I ask that you my readers and followers bare with me while I find my footing! I thank you for all the comments and participation, and I hope this post reaches someone in the way it was intended. Thank you and read on…

 

 

I used to fight a lot, with people with myself, you are probably wondering how did she fight with herself?

Well I surely found a way.

I was in my late teens early to mid-twenties, I felt like all that I ever worked for had to be fought for, somehow that is what I learned, just don’t know from whom or from where!

Maybe because I am the last of my mother’s five children, so fighting for the attention and always getting it, or fighting to prove I was strong even though I was the youngest/smallest. I really do not know where it came from, and I stopped trying to figure it out a long time ago.

I just accepted it as part of my personality.

As I moved into my thirties, I became more aware of what would trigger me to feel like I ‘needed’ to fight, fight for the love of my significant other, or fight for a job, now my fighting was not a physical display, it was more in my mind, or verbally expressed, with unacceptable language at times.

I probably appeared angry to many people back then, who knows;  at the time I did not care or even seemed bothered, in my mind I was being real. But I could feel a battle within me and realised that I definitely had triggers, I now know when they were coming on, I learned I could have more control over my reactions to the things or people who seemed to set me off.

Why was I giving such external factors so much power over how I behaved or how I thought I should behave? As time went on and life happened my thoughts, behaviour and words changed, as we know change is inevitable, I did not know it was happening really until I found myself in familiar scenarios but my reactions were different, I was more calm and laughing at times at how silly people were, when they thought they were getting under my skin.

In conversation recently, I realised for the first time that having triggers is not always a negative thing, we can also have positively reinforced triggers, which give us a glimmer of light within a dim situation or a warm feeling deep down, when set alight.

Triggers
Trigger me trigger you trigger we

I have decided to focus more on the positive triggers, still recognising the negative ones but replacing them with a different trail of thought and a different behaviour and outcome.

I am not totally clued up on all my triggers, some are unknown, just like that part of us that nobody ever knows about (learned this fact in psychology class many years’ ago)

I know when some are happening or even about to happen, I know what situations would place me in a trigger- type of mindset too, where I would feel the need to “fight” coming on, I now replace my thought process with more fun visuals and I have found this helps me eliminate the blow up that I know for sure can happen.

When it does happen though, its swift, loud (in my head) and blinded, I see black, not in a violent way but almost like I blank out all else from my mind and only see what I view as “the problem” which needs sorting out immediately.

However I react I see a flash of light, but my emotions deep within that swiftness are on fire, maybe I become the fire breathing dragon?? Who knows, but the good thing is I am now in control of me and this feels better than any triggering can possibly feel.

Guess what…? I was triggered today! 😊

Discussion: What are some of your triggers? Are they positive or negative? Describe how it makes you feel when you are triggered? Do you even know it is happening?

I would love to hear from you all so drop your comments below as usual, thank you for reading! Edited photo credit by @minasplanet check out her IG page

6 thoughts on “Trigger me trigger you trigger we

  1. This reiterated my belief in being in the present, and also embracing negativity. Negativity is the yang to positivity. It needs to be acknowledged, to be understood to know how to navigate the feelings derived from it. Those bad triggers needs to be acknowledged to be able to navigate and recognize the good triggers. Something I am Learning to do myself..still not mastered it 🤔😊

    1. Rachel girl I agree, I was surprised to know I had good triggers to, its only after having a simple conversation with a colleague I realised so I am glad I did, because it helped me see both sides you know?!…
      For you to master anything you will need to practice, so allow yourself the opportunities to do just this and you will be fine!

  2. Hi Lisa!

    I guess I have to dedicate some time to really sit and think about what “triggers” I have. Never really looked at it that way. What things make me feel great and positive, and what things leave me demotivated or emotional to the point of withdrawal until i feel better. Your goal to focus more on the positive triggers is more appealing, but still being able to recognize the negative ones and replacing them with a different trail of thought is just as important to be able to manifest a different behavior and outcome.

    Jeez! Thats a challenge to take on! Now my challenge is to step off and do! Not just say and be whining next week about how I haven’t “found the time”……sigh…

    1. Dear Nicole, it is totally up to you, but at least you have identified a desire to reflect, so take your time.

  3. Funny. Just yesterday I was having a conversation with a friend who said that it was frustrating for her when her mind would draw a blank when someone confronted her. Or, she would feel anxious and just want to walk or run from conflict rather than be assertive and “fight back.” She cited fear of the consequences of speaking her mind. I asked her if she knew what the consequences could be. Apparently, she had not yet articulated them with specificity to herself. I explained to her that it would be very useful to know what they were–and to write them in list form. Otherwise, conflict would continue to trigger fear and that fear would trigger a flight response or a dampening of energy / self- worth every time. Told her that she needed to be comfortable with her “discomfort”–that is, the fear of whatever consequences. It would be the only way to pause, figure out what they were, and then make decisions about the present situation whenever it appeared–mentioning that she might be surprised to find that fighting back is not what she really wants to do, but being herself and being okay with that (however, it looks) might be the goal in the end. Thanks, Lisa Love for stirring up the soup that is my mind!!

    1. Apologies for this very delayed reply, I was inactive for a while due to many unforeseen reasons.

      Oh wow girl, that sounds like your friend needs some therapy and or guidance, the fact she is in fear of consequences, from speaking her mind or allowing others to know what she needs and wants is a bit worrying.
      Maybe direct her to this post, she can read and ask questions, but the suggestion you made about writing things down, is a great one, seeing things in black and white and allowing it to leave the mind, gives space for other thoughts.
      You are most welcomed, thank you for engaging and giving me the chance to activate your mind!

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